Feeling Guilty & Giving Thanks
I consider myself to be an extremely blessed individual; I have a loving family, awesome friends, a college education, a good job, a roof over my head, enough food to eat three times a day, shoes on my feet, clean water to drink, and the list goes on. I grew up in the small city of Sarnia, and upon moving to Toronto I realized how much I have taken the good things in my life for granted. In Sarnia there is poverty, but it is hidden so I never really gave it much thought. In Toronto I can’t walk to the corner store without someone asking me for my spare change.
Mark 10: 21-24 - Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
I am not sure how accurate this is, but I remember hearing someone say at a Compassion event that if you are living on Employment Insurance (welfare) in Canada, you are among 5% of the richest people in the world. That blew my mind. I never really considered myself to be rich before, but holy crap, I am. I am ‘the rich’ that Jesus is talking about.
This realization should have probably made me feel grateful, but instead it made me feel guilty. I felt guilty for owning more than ten pairs of shoes when there are millions of people who don’t have a single pair. I felt guilty for having a roof over my head when so many don’t. I felt guilty for having food in my fridge, sometimes so much that I end up throwing some out because it goes bad, when there are people dying of starvation.
I have been thinking a lot about Jesus’ instruction to sell everything and give it to the poor. I think that point that Jesus was trying to make was that when we depend so much on our riches, we don’t depend on God. In our culture we have everything we need at our fingertips, so there doesn’t really leave much room for depending on God to pull through for us. Because we are so rich we have become accustomed to relying on ourselves rather than giving what we do have to the poor and relying on God to provide. We want to be comfortable so anything we do give has to fit in with a budget that still leaves enough money remaining to buy this month’s groceries.
I am reading ‘Bent Hope’ by Tim Huff. Huff is a street worker in Toronto, he works with Youth Unlimited Light Patrol (http://lightpatrol.ca/who-we-are/). The book is a collection of his experiences and stories from over the years of working with youth living on the streets. In one of the stories he encountered two young children, a boy around 7, and a girl around 5. The children appeared to be living on the street alone. Before leaving Huff gave them a small package of gumballs. After he left he watched the children from afar as they cut one of the gumballs in half, saving the others for later. The children then sat and examined every small detail of the gumball, appreciating it fully. Huff described the moment as ‘a picture of what the electricity of thanksgiving should be.’
Rather than feeling guilty for my blessings, I should be giving thanks to God for all that He has given me. I should be giving thanks to God with the same electricity that the children were giving over half a gumball! Yet, giving thanks is not enough. It’s time to step out of my comfort zone, sacrifice more for the sake of others in need, and learn to depend on God rather than myself.
Mark 10: 21-24 - Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
I am not sure how accurate this is, but I remember hearing someone say at a Compassion event that if you are living on Employment Insurance (welfare) in Canada, you are among 5% of the richest people in the world. That blew my mind. I never really considered myself to be rich before, but holy crap, I am. I am ‘the rich’ that Jesus is talking about.
This realization should have probably made me feel grateful, but instead it made me feel guilty. I felt guilty for owning more than ten pairs of shoes when there are millions of people who don’t have a single pair. I felt guilty for having a roof over my head when so many don’t. I felt guilty for having food in my fridge, sometimes so much that I end up throwing some out because it goes bad, when there are people dying of starvation.
I have been thinking a lot about Jesus’ instruction to sell everything and give it to the poor. I think that point that Jesus was trying to make was that when we depend so much on our riches, we don’t depend on God. In our culture we have everything we need at our fingertips, so there doesn’t really leave much room for depending on God to pull through for us. Because we are so rich we have become accustomed to relying on ourselves rather than giving what we do have to the poor and relying on God to provide. We want to be comfortable so anything we do give has to fit in with a budget that still leaves enough money remaining to buy this month’s groceries.
I am reading ‘Bent Hope’ by Tim Huff. Huff is a street worker in Toronto, he works with Youth Unlimited Light Patrol (http://lightpatrol.ca/who-we-are/). The book is a collection of his experiences and stories from over the years of working with youth living on the streets. In one of the stories he encountered two young children, a boy around 7, and a girl around 5. The children appeared to be living on the street alone. Before leaving Huff gave them a small package of gumballs. After he left he watched the children from afar as they cut one of the gumballs in half, saving the others for later. The children then sat and examined every small detail of the gumball, appreciating it fully. Huff described the moment as ‘a picture of what the electricity of thanksgiving should be.’
Rather than feeling guilty for my blessings, I should be giving thanks to God for all that He has given me. I should be giving thanks to God with the same electricity that the children were giving over half a gumball! Yet, giving thanks is not enough. It’s time to step out of my comfort zone, sacrifice more for the sake of others in need, and learn to depend on God rather than myself.
posted by naomi at
11:49 PM
2 Comments:
Wow, three years since you've blogged, awesome.
Good post though, I think it was William Cavanaugh said that the problem with consumerism isn't that we love our stuff too much, it is that we don't love it enough. Consumerism is about consuming and then throwing away and having no value for anything we have ever. The way out is to start loving our stuff more. Actually appreciating it, and fixing it, and reusing it over and over again and loving something so deeply that you can't just dispose of it.
Anyway, your post made me think about that. Good thinking!
four years...nice counting! haha
I don't think we need to love our stuff more...I think we need to appreciate it more, but not love it so much we won't be able to part with if need be. we are all so concerned with having the newest and best things on the market. consumerism is the product of our belief that having the best stuff makes us better than those who don't.
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