A Poor Widow & A Homeless Man

Last night my parents were in town and took Martina and I out for dinner at East Side. You haven’t lived until you’ve witnessed Martina devour 6 (or 9) loaves of bread on her own. My mom on the other hand literally takes three bites from her meal and is stuffed.

As we were leaving the restaurant we were approached by a homeless man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties. He wanted to know if he could have my mom’s leftovers. My mom graciously obliged, and before the man could even look to see what he received I heard him yell, “Hey man, you want some?” He quickly ran over to an older man sitting in his wheelchair wearing a Santa suit, holding up a sign that was asking for money to fix his broken sleigh. The younger man took the food and split it between Santa and himself. The two men then sat and enjoyed their meal together.

I keep replaying the scene in my head over and over. Words cannot even begin to describe how beautiful the moment was. The younger man offered up half of what was given to him before he even knew what or how much he had. I can’t help but think about the story in Mark about the widow who offered her last few coins.

Mark 12 41Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. 43Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

Living in Toronto I’m surrounded by homelessness. I’ve given money and food but what I’ve given has never made a dent in my pocket or made me go hungry. Not to say that we shouldn’t give to people who are in need, but I’m guessing I’m not the poor widow in the story. It’s easy to justify not giving, or only giving what we have leftover. If someone were to ask me for change, but all I had was $3 for the subway, I’d most likely apologize to that person and tell them that I have no change to give them. Proverbs 3:27-28 teaches us that we should never pass up an opportunity to help someone when we have the power to do so.

I feel blessed just having had the opportunity to witness the two men sharing their meal together. To give away half of what you have when you have practically nothing; truly a loving and selfless act. He took his blessing and used to it bless someone else. He probably went to bed still a little bit hungry but completely satisfied knowing he was able to ease someone else’s hunger, even if just a little.

My prayer is that we can learn to give. To give like the widow. To give like the young homeless man. To give until it hurts. To give to the point where we may put ourselves into situations that may not be as comfortable as we’d like. To give and trust that God will provide.

I’m reading a book called Plan B by Pete Wilson. I’m only on the second chapter, but something I read really stuck out for me. Wilson was referring to the story of Saul and David (1 Samuel). The gist of the story is that David was told by Samuel that he was going to be king. Saul, the current king, took David into his family, but became jealous of David because everyone loved him so much. David was informed that Saul wanted to kill him, so he fled to Nob. In Nob he met Ahimelech, and lied to him about still being in the king’s good favour. Ahimelech helped David by feeding him and giving him a sword. When Saul found out that Ahimelech helped David, he had him killed along with eighty five other priests of Nob, and their families.

What stuck out for me is that Wilson states that, “David’s ultimately responsible for all that slaughter.” He makes this claim by saying that if David hadn’t lied, then Saul wouldn’t have ordered the killings. This really bothered me. Not to say that David wasn’t wrong for lying, but can he be blamed for the actions of someone else? With that logic, you could bring the guilt back to Saul by claiming that David wouldn’t have lied if Saul had not become jealous of him in the first place.

I know David takes responsibility for the deaths (1 Samuel 22: 21-22), but I think that he finally understood that he had done wrong by lying and felt guilty so took the blame upon himself. There is the possibility that he may have been able to prevent Saul from killing the priests, but he cannot be blamed for their deaths. Saul is the one made the order.
In life it is so much easier to blame everyone else for our actions. We use the excuse that Wilson presents, that we wouldn’t have acted a certain way if the person before us hadn’t acted the way they did. David took the noble approach and took the blame upon himself, even when the blame wasn’t his to take. This is a rarity in today’s society. No one wants to take the blame for anything. It’s always someone else’s fault. It’s almost as though we can’t move on towards a solution until we have pinned the blame on someone. Pride is a funny thing. We need the reassurance that we did not do something wrong so we will try to shove the blame onto someone else, and they most likely will try to do the same. It’s a vicious cycle.

It’s time we start taking responsibility for our own actions. In every situation we have a choice. We have the choice of how we will react to the situation at hand. The actions of others may influence our decision to act a certain way, but ultimately we make the choice. The blame is our own. On the flip side, when the blame lands in the hands of someone else, may we be quick to show them grace and forgiveness.

I suck at conclusions, and so with that, I conclude.

Feeling Guilty & Giving Thanks

I consider myself to be an extremely blessed individual; I have a loving family, awesome friends, a college education, a good job, a roof over my head, enough food to eat three times a day, shoes on my feet, clean water to drink, and the list goes on. I grew up in the small city of Sarnia, and upon moving to Toronto I realized how much I have taken the good things in my life for granted. In Sarnia there is poverty, but it is hidden so I never really gave it much thought. In Toronto I can’t walk to the corner store without someone asking me for my spare change.

Mark 10: 21-24 - Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

I am not sure how accurate this is, but I remember hearing someone say at a Compassion event that if you are living on Employment Insurance (welfare) in Canada, you are among 5% of the richest people in the world. That blew my mind. I never really considered myself to be rich before, but holy crap, I am. I am ‘the rich’ that Jesus is talking about.

This realization should have probably made me feel grateful, but instead it made me feel guilty. I felt guilty for owning more than ten pairs of shoes when there are millions of people who don’t have a single pair. I felt guilty for having a roof over my head when so many don’t. I felt guilty for having food in my fridge, sometimes so much that I end up throwing some out because it goes bad, when there are people dying of starvation.

I have been thinking a lot about Jesus’ instruction to sell everything and give it to the poor. I think that point that Jesus was trying to make was that when we depend so much on our riches, we don’t depend on God. In our culture we have everything we need at our fingertips, so there doesn’t really leave much room for depending on God to pull through for us. Because we are so rich we have become accustomed to relying on ourselves rather than giving what we do have to the poor and relying on God to provide. We want to be comfortable so anything we do give has to fit in with a budget that still leaves enough money remaining to buy this month’s groceries.

I am reading ‘Bent Hope’ by Tim Huff. Huff is a street worker in Toronto, he works with Youth Unlimited Light Patrol (http://lightpatrol.ca/who-we-are/). The book is a collection of his experiences and stories from over the years of working with youth living on the streets. In one of the stories he encountered two young children, a boy around 7, and a girl around 5. The children appeared to be living on the street alone. Before leaving Huff gave them a small package of gumballs. After he left he watched the children from afar as they cut one of the gumballs in half, saving the others for later. The children then sat and examined every small detail of the gumball, appreciating it fully. Huff described the moment as ‘a picture of what the electricity of thanksgiving should be.’

Rather than feeling guilty for my blessings, I should be giving thanks to God for all that He has given me. I should be giving thanks to God with the same electricity that the children were giving over half a gumball! Yet, giving thanks is not enough. It’s time to step out of my comfort zone, sacrifice more for the sake of others in need, and learn to depend on God rather than myself.

just the hottest two ladies.

Poor Kid

This video made me laugh so hard so I thought I'd share it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4865367402800495703&q=gay

Love. A feeling vs A Selfless Action

Love. Really, what is Love? A feeling? The butterflies you get in your stomahce when you are around that 'special someone'? Is it possible that love isn't a feeling at all? But rather a choice? Sure love may make you feel certain ways, such as happy and excited but can it actually be called a feeling on it's own? I believe that love is a choice. It is something you choose to do. I was talking to a friend and she was talking about how she really loves her new boyfriend. She went on to say that her and her exboyfriend just fell out of love, so they broke up. What the heck does that even mean, to 'fall out of love' with someone? How can you care for someone so much and then all of a sudden stop? I'm sure you've all read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. The love chapter.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Ok, so all of those things to me seem like choices, something you do. Not something you feel.
I was reading over my old blog and came across this...

These verses really make me think. How many people do I say "I love you" to on a daily basis? I was talking to a friend of mine today and his random comment of the day was "Actions speak louder than words". I never really thought about it much before but I can say I love you all I want to someone but it means NOTHING unless I prove it by my actions! Let's take my mom for example...I tell her I love her all the time yet am I always patient and kind? Am I jealous, proud or rude? Do I demand my own way? Am I irritable or do I keep record of wrongs? Do I rejoice when truth wins out? Do I give up, lose faith? Am I hopeful and endure through everything? The answer to the majority of those questions is no. I complain when she asks me to clean the kitchen, do laundry or even something as simple as feeding the dog. I'm always coming up with some kind of excuse as to why I shouldn't have to do it. So how can I tell my mom that I love her when my actions clearly show that I don't? I should jump at the chance I have to bless her instead I complain. I really need to take a deeper look at my actions toward others. Am I showing Christ's love towards others? This is something I encourage everyone to really take a look at in their lives. Remember...Actions speak louder than words.

Finding this really made me look at this past year and evaluate my love for others. Have I really changed? I think I have in some ways, but there's always room for improvement!

The Trouble With Evan

I walk into class at 9am only to find that we are going to be watching a movie in class. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about this. After a few moments of thinking I came to the conclusion that a movie was definitely a good thing, for one reason only, I would be able to take a 2 hour nap. As the teacher was giving us an outline of the movie I was fluffing my winter jacket to make the perfect pillow. Unfortunately for me, the movie wasn't the type that one could sleep through. Let's just say that I spent the following 2 hours with tears streaming down my face. The movie was a documentary by the Fifth Estate made in 1994 'The Trouble with Evan'. Evan was an 11 year old boy who lived with his mother, stepfather, and 6year old sister, Kimberly.. He was caught stealing, lying, bullying his peers and even putting paint in his teacher's coffee. His parents wanted to know why he was acting up like this so they allowed the Fifth Estate to put camera's in their home and observe them in their daily lives. What the video captured was shocking, absolutely horrifying. His parents didn't know how to deal with Evan's behaviour so they resorted to screaming and threatening. If something was missing or broken they would sit Evan down and scream at him for at least an hour before they even knew forsure Evan was responsible for it. One morning his mother counted all the change she kept in a jar on the counter. That evening when she came home she recounted and noticed a dime was missing. She called Evan down into the kitchen and her and her husband screamed at him for over and hour. Evan claimed to have not taken any money, they just kept on calling him a liar. It turns out the mother miscounted the change in the jar and there was no money missing. She did apologize to Evan for her mistake. The next day she accused him of stealing her key to her bedroom. Evan again denied it and again another hour long lecture. Later in the evening his mother found her key. "It dropped from the sky," she said. Evan was continually verbally and physically abused by his parents. The house was complete and utter chaos. I can't even begin to explain how awful it was. I wanted to jump out of my seat and strangle Evan's parents. It's no wonder Evan acts the way he does! Are they blind? His parents decided to take a parenting course. The course offered many strategies on how to deal with a difficult child. They decided to give some a try. These strategies worked for a few weeks. Evan's behaviour seemed to be getting better. His parents were learning how to deal with him efficiently! After a few weeks Evan was caught stealing a pack of cigarettes from his stepdad. His stepdad couldn't take anymore. He completely blew up. His parents sat him down in the kitchen and told him that they decided he was no longer a part of the family, they were through dealing with him. He was allowed to live in their home but they would have nothing to do with him. He could go to school if he wanted to, but he didn't have to. He was allowed to eat, but he had to make his own food and was no longer to eat with everyone else. He was not allowed to go on vacation with them. The front door was locked at 9 and if he wasn't home by then he would have to find somewhere else to stay for the night. The list goes on. At one point his mother was so stressed out she left the kids with their step father and drove to Mexico and stayed there for a few months. During this time his stepfather went to court and received full custody of the children. When their mother came back she wanted to leave her husband but now that he had full custody of her children she felt she was forced to stay with him. She became to depressed she drove her van into a bridge hoping to die. Fortunately she did live through the accident. Now of course all of these problems in the family MUST be Evan's fault. As the movie went on we discovered that Evan's stepdad was abused as a young boy so it was the only way he knew how to raise a child. He began to cry as he talked about is childhood. I could not help but feel sorry for him. If only he could realize all the pain he is feeling because of his father, he is passing down to Evan. Once the movie was aired on television Evan and his sister were immediately removed from the home and placed into foster care.

Evan was only 11. As Evan grows up and has children of his own he is likely to raise them the same way he was raised. Now that you know his story, you'd feel sorry for him right? At what point in the child's life is it when people stop feeling compassion for them? When they turn 15? 20? 40? When he 35 and is abusing his children, no one feels sorry for him then. After thinking about this I came to the conclusion that I don't want to strangle Evan's parents. I feel sorry for them if anything.

When I decided to become a CYW I don't think I knew exactly what I was going to be getting into. I knew I was going to be working with abused children. It is one thing to hear that a child has been abused and a totally different thing to actually see the child being abused. The look on Evan's face broke my heart. He had become to accustomed to the abuse he had no emotion on his face. He just sat back and took the abuse, when his parents were finished with him he would just go up to his room and go to bed. He seemed so lifeless. He became severely depressed, which is what caused his bad behaviour.

AHH I just want these next few years to pass so I can get out there and just give all of the Evan's a giant hug.