I’m reading a book called Plan B by Pete Wilson. I’m only on the second chapter, but something I read really stuck out for me. Wilson was referring to the story of Saul and David (1 Samuel). The gist of the story is that David was told by Samuel that he was going to be king. Saul, the current king, took David into his family, but became jealous of David because everyone loved him so much. David was informed that Saul wanted to kill him, so he fled to Nob. In Nob he met Ahimelech, and lied to him about still being in the king’s good favour. Ahimelech helped David by feeding him and giving him a sword. When Saul found out that Ahimelech helped David, he had him killed along with eighty five other priests of Nob, and their families.

What stuck out for me is that Wilson states that, “David’s ultimately responsible for all that slaughter.” He makes this claim by saying that if David hadn’t lied, then Saul wouldn’t have ordered the killings. This really bothered me. Not to say that David wasn’t wrong for lying, but can he be blamed for the actions of someone else? With that logic, you could bring the guilt back to Saul by claiming that David wouldn’t have lied if Saul had not become jealous of him in the first place.

I know David takes responsibility for the deaths (1 Samuel 22: 21-22), but I think that he finally understood that he had done wrong by lying and felt guilty so took the blame upon himself. There is the possibility that he may have been able to prevent Saul from killing the priests, but he cannot be blamed for their deaths. Saul is the one made the order.
In life it is so much easier to blame everyone else for our actions. We use the excuse that Wilson presents, that we wouldn’t have acted a certain way if the person before us hadn’t acted the way they did. David took the noble approach and took the blame upon himself, even when the blame wasn’t his to take. This is a rarity in today’s society. No one wants to take the blame for anything. It’s always someone else’s fault. It’s almost as though we can’t move on towards a solution until we have pinned the blame on someone. Pride is a funny thing. We need the reassurance that we did not do something wrong so we will try to shove the blame onto someone else, and they most likely will try to do the same. It’s a vicious cycle.

It’s time we start taking responsibility for our own actions. In every situation we have a choice. We have the choice of how we will react to the situation at hand. The actions of others may influence our decision to act a certain way, but ultimately we make the choice. The blame is our own. On the flip side, when the blame lands in the hands of someone else, may we be quick to show them grace and forgiveness.

I suck at conclusions, and so with that, I conclude.

Feeling Guilty & Giving Thanks

I consider myself to be an extremely blessed individual; I have a loving family, awesome friends, a college education, a good job, a roof over my head, enough food to eat three times a day, shoes on my feet, clean water to drink, and the list goes on. I grew up in the small city of Sarnia, and upon moving to Toronto I realized how much I have taken the good things in my life for granted. In Sarnia there is poverty, but it is hidden so I never really gave it much thought. In Toronto I can’t walk to the corner store without someone asking me for my spare change.

Mark 10: 21-24 - Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

I am not sure how accurate this is, but I remember hearing someone say at a Compassion event that if you are living on Employment Insurance (welfare) in Canada, you are among 5% of the richest people in the world. That blew my mind. I never really considered myself to be rich before, but holy crap, I am. I am ‘the rich’ that Jesus is talking about.

This realization should have probably made me feel grateful, but instead it made me feel guilty. I felt guilty for owning more than ten pairs of shoes when there are millions of people who don’t have a single pair. I felt guilty for having a roof over my head when so many don’t. I felt guilty for having food in my fridge, sometimes so much that I end up throwing some out because it goes bad, when there are people dying of starvation.

I have been thinking a lot about Jesus’ instruction to sell everything and give it to the poor. I think that point that Jesus was trying to make was that when we depend so much on our riches, we don’t depend on God. In our culture we have everything we need at our fingertips, so there doesn’t really leave much room for depending on God to pull through for us. Because we are so rich we have become accustomed to relying on ourselves rather than giving what we do have to the poor and relying on God to provide. We want to be comfortable so anything we do give has to fit in with a budget that still leaves enough money remaining to buy this month’s groceries.

I am reading ‘Bent Hope’ by Tim Huff. Huff is a street worker in Toronto, he works with Youth Unlimited Light Patrol (http://lightpatrol.ca/who-we-are/). The book is a collection of his experiences and stories from over the years of working with youth living on the streets. In one of the stories he encountered two young children, a boy around 7, and a girl around 5. The children appeared to be living on the street alone. Before leaving Huff gave them a small package of gumballs. After he left he watched the children from afar as they cut one of the gumballs in half, saving the others for later. The children then sat and examined every small detail of the gumball, appreciating it fully. Huff described the moment as ‘a picture of what the electricity of thanksgiving should be.’

Rather than feeling guilty for my blessings, I should be giving thanks to God for all that He has given me. I should be giving thanks to God with the same electricity that the children were giving over half a gumball! Yet, giving thanks is not enough. It’s time to step out of my comfort zone, sacrifice more for the sake of others in need, and learn to depend on God rather than myself.